Old me/ New me

I have decided it's time for me to change a few patterns in my life.

I've mentioned I'm single again, and dating, but I've not done a great job of it so far, having broken off every 'date' that seemed to be going anywhere and talking (nearly crying) on the phone to my ex. The talking to the ex thing aside, I'm falling back into old habits of single-lady-dom picked up as a teenager, and I thought long gone. I was a bad teenager. A bad bad girl. And I did things (ok, people,) that adult Ali is a little ashamed of.

The fact that I give off this impression of bad things came to light the other week when planning a photoshoot for a friend, and one of my best friends, G, who was going to help out. G is fantastic. G has skills with hair and makeup and costume and capturing  images that anyone would be proud of. I'd quite like the steal her brain. And eyes. (And while we're on the subject, the girl has the figure. She's all perfect-woman-fertility-goddess-curves. I'm not. Perhaps I just want to be her. Or kill her and live in her skin. Anyway.) We live within half a mile of each other, share the same tastes in many things, have good natured arguments about the things we don't, we share some of the same social circle and indeed a job. (I have my shop, but I moonlight as a waitress)
I think she despairs of me a little though. I'm not the most organised of bunnies at the best of times, and, due to the overlapping nature of our lives, (so much so that when I'm hanging out with her and her boyfriend, I'm included in the hugs) she often has a better idea of what I'm meant to be doing on any given day than I do.

An example: lying on the grass under an apple tree, counting daisies and listening to the BBQ being stoked up...phone rings...
'Hi G, what's up?'
'Where are you?'
'Where am I meant to be?'
'At work'
'Really? Oh. .....really? I'm not on the rota until monday'
'It is Monday.'
'No, I've not been working in the shop today, that means it's Sunday.'
'Today is a Monday.'
'It is? Really? Was I meant to open my shop? Why didn't I open my shop?'
'It's a bank holiday.'
'Oh...... then... it's practically a Sunday. I was half right.'
'.......*sigh*..'
'I'll get my uniform on.'

She also often just announces what I'm doing, whether I've had anything to do with the organisation or not.
She's like my walking talking social interaction diary. For which I am eternally grateful. *note to self - dreamt G and I built a fort in my garden last night and it turned into an ark and the swimming pool exploded. Must tell her.*

 'Right, tomorrow, we're going to the city, you're going to go to the cinema with my boyfriend while I go to band practice, and then we'll all meet up and eat pizza. I'll pick you up from work?'
'Erm, yes? Did... did I forget we were doing that?'
'No, I just told you now.'
'Oh, ok. That's ok. I thought I'd have known myself if we'd already planned it.'
'No, you wouldn't.'
'You're right. I wouldn't have a clue, would I?'
'Nope!'
'I love you, G.'

So, back to the other scenario, where I'm planning the weekend...

'G, what am I doing on Saturday? Do I have plans?'
'Getting laid?'
'I am?......Am I?'
'Well, that's probably what you were aiming to do if you're free.....'
'........Oh...'

So, G thinks I'm a slut. And she didn't even know teenage Ali. In fact, pretty much all of the time.... wait... yes, all of the time she's known me, I've been in a stable relationship. Aside from the last 3 months.

Anyway. Point being, this is the pattern I need to change. The sleeping with people pattern. And the being totally unorganised thing should really be improved upon too. But mainly the 'oh dear I have no self-respect and I slept with who?' thing must be dealt with first.

Old me:

• find man
• find him attractive(ish)
• talk
• find him... meh, relatively interesting
• kiss man
• sleep with man
• learn man's last name
• maybe get number

New Me:

• find nice man
• find him really attractive
• talk
• find him really interesting
• find out last name
• kiss man (maybe)
• get number
• meet up at later date
• talk more
• still find him totally attractive
• kiss man
• .........some time later, say, at least 5 dates later........(if ever) sleep with man

I think this is a plan I might be able to stick with. I'm going out tonight. And just to make sure I don't revert to old me plan, I didn't shave my legs. Ain't no way I'm getting my jeans off now! This new me plan cannot fail!


...Hopefully....