The old me / new me update...

I didn't go home with anyone.
I swear.
I went, I saw, I partied hard.



And snogged an 18 year old. Who has a girlfriend.

Back in the doghouse for me....

I will flesh this out tomorrow, right now, I'd like to just hang my head in silent shame for a little longer.



Update:

On reflection, there's little I can tell myself that will make me feel less guilty about the cradle snatching. I blame the NOS balloons. Yeah. That's it. Definitely. I blame drugs. Bad drugs! Naughty! I mean, it'd be rude not to kiss an extremely attractive man who's just bought you a balloon, and if you don't lean in and prop yourself up on his mouth you'll fall over because the high has, strangely enough, gone right to your head. And no one likes to seem ungracious. It was just a thank you. Yup, just a thank you.

(..... In my mind, I'm now skipping over  totally erasing the fact that I kissed him a second time, having been told about the girlfriend bit:
"so, I've just heard something interesting about you. You have a girlfriend."
"ah. yes."
"you're a bad man. A bad bad man. You shouldn't have kissed me. *kisses him again*"
.................Nope. Nope... doesn't ring a bell. Nope, that last bit neeeevvveeeer happened........ Nuh uh. Defo. No way. There was no second kissing. Tongues? Why, how dare you suggest such a thing!)

Er... yeah.

Seeing as we're connected by friends, I thought it best to ignore the whole thing ever happening. However. I didn't factor into the equation the whole he works next door to my shop.
So, who should walk in today while my hair is in disarray, my makeup is smudged off, I'm hunched over my laptop watching buffy episodes and I'm eating chocolate spread straight from the jar.

*in walks pretty boy*
*ali splutters and dies removes chocolatey knife from mouth. Acts normal. Ish. At this point I have just come back from having my underarms waxed, so I've got the slight 'fuck-balls-shit-my-armpits-are-burning' robotic movements going on where I can't bring myself to actually put my arms flat against my body. (Put a tennis ball under each arm, and see how relaxed you can look. You'll get the idea.)*
"Hi."
"hello, how ya doing?" act normal, act normal... pretend you don't know what his mouth tastes like...oooh... like.... nooo, nonono, don't think about it....
"I was just wondering..."
"yes?" oooh, my god.. a date? a date? ohmygod, whatdoido? nononono
"Is this your lighter?"
"Er, no?" mine was green, motherfucker! That one is orange! How dare you be so unobservant!
"Well, erm, I ended up with it on saturday... it's not mine.. so.. I thought.. you can have it, I mean, I have one anyway... so, yeah, I, er... I need to buy some incense sticks while I'm here..."
"OK! Cool! You know where they are!" *tries to look busy with emails* wait... wtf? why am *I* nervous? Pretty boy just came to see you with a really flimsy excuse! And he gave you a lighter   a present! Ah ha! You have the power!! aahhh hahahahaaha! *does little dance*
"why are you danci...."
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL!"

I may not have pulled off the relaxed calm 'over it' look I was going for. But, I'm pretty sure he was doing a worse job than me. So, now all I have to do is await his jilted girlfriend to come and stab my eyes out. Oh, goody.

*note to self.. look up flights out of the country...*