Slowly, Slowly...

Every so often I think it's getting easier and I'm definitely, definitely getting over M.
Like when I went on a date last friday with an eyelinered top-hat wearing hippy.
It was me, him, his brother, and about a billion of his friends. On a first date.

So, it's essentially a party, and then I rock up, all like
 'oh, hai, I'm a girl he met on the internet' and they're all like
'ooh', and I'm all like
 'eugh. people.'

So, yeah. No pressure there then.
But, it seemed ok. We had instant camaraderie, me and the hippy. Must have been a dreadlock bonding thing. He had 3 stubby ones at the back of his hair, I have umpteen. (actually, 68. Find me a dreadhead who hasn't at some point counted their hair, and I'll show you..... a surprised face.)
It was all going so effortlessly. I couldn't remember the last time I felt so at ease with someone. Could this be someone I could skip the going-out-dating stage with, head straight for sofa-dates and mucking about with?
 So when he asked if he could kiss me, I thought, sure, why not.
And I kissed him. His stubble sharp on my skin, my eyes closed, I felt for the dreds at his neck and imagined they were long, rope-like, and... M's. Shit. I was mind-kissing my ex. No wonder it felt nice. I was pretending it was someone else.
I went on a second date with him, on the off chance I could get my head around the ex thing, and realized that he was oddly familiar. I have dated his type before (slightly manic depressive, anxious, exuberant, with a devil-may-care-but-carefully-crafted-image) and it's never ended well. For them. I always walk away unscathed.

And from this encounter, I walk away with the knowledge that his biggest turn on is seeing someone fully-dressed and soaking, dripping, just been in the shower, wet.

I can't believe I'm saying this. But I'd really quite like to date someone totally vanilla.